After my most recent Instagram reel where I listed 5 things I do not do as a mental health therapist, I received a lot of, well, heated and intense messages. So here they are the infamous 5 things I do not do as a therapist:
I do not give advice;
I do not fix you;
I do not make the hard stuff go away;
I do not pretend I am an expert on you;
I do not minimize your experiences.
I got an avalanche of messages like “so therapy is just a waste of money”, “you steal money and leave people with more trust issues”, etc.
Let’s take a closer look as to what exactly happens in therapy so you have your expectations straight before you go in.
If you think that your therapist may be providing you with advice, you are not alone. The media has presented us with therapists that give advice but this is inaccurate of a therapist’s practice. There are several reasons therapists will not give you advice:
Advice is a “quick fix” and if this is something you are after without looking to make some profound long-lasting changes, there are professions that can help you with that.
Providing advice makes a client dependent on their therapist.
It teaches clients are incapable of making their own decisions.
Therapists don't fix people. Fixing people means seeing people like they are a problem, or broken in the first place, which is not the case. They don't make the hard stuff go away. It is not about making you forget or push the trauma away. Therapists don't tell you what to do or pretend they are an expert on your life. Why not? Because there is no one-size-fits-all solution.
There is a lot of talk about the healing process, but what does it actually mean?
Healing is not fixing. It is not being fixed by someone else. It's not being told what to do. Healing can't be forced on you by someone else—you have to want it for yourself. And when you want it for yourself, healing starts with taking responsibility for your own life and behavior, instead of trying to find someone else who can fix it for you.
Therapists are there to empower you and guide you through the process of healing. They will support you through tough times, but they won't take responsibility for your healing journey—that's yours and yours alone!
If you've been having trouble finding your way through something tough, then it might be time to find a therapist who can help guide and support you on your journey back to wellness.